Last Days with Mother

(figurine's name: I Love You This Much)

It has been 31 years ago today that Mother was taken by that horrible disease called cancer. At that time I was eight months pregnant with Raegan, and had also lost Dale in December. I had stayed every day with Mother and Dad would stay at night. I did what I needed to do and didn't think about all I was going through. Years later I looked back with amazement at what a strong person I was. Now I understand that it made me a strong person and prepared me for the experiences that were ahead of me. I also see all the precious moments that I now posses because of those day I spent with my best friend.

• Just before Mother went into a coma, I had the feeling that I should take Jen and Carrie in to see their Grandmother. Jen was 11 and Carrie 7, and they loved her so much. Some would say it was a cruel thing to do to them, but I will never forget those very precious moments we had with her. She looked at them and then took their small hands in hers. Mother then said with more wisdom than I understood then, "Remember I love you and don't cry."
• Several days later as I was sitting to the side of her, she opened her eyes, stared at the corner of the room, and began mumbling. I felt the presence of others in the room. "What can you see, Mother, that I can not?" I asked her, but she couldn't tell me. I knew, though, that those who loved her most on the other side were waiting to take her home. I sat there and cried. It was all self pity. That is the way death is. I didn't want to keep Mother here the way she was. That was a precious moment for me to share with my best friend. To feel the presence of those who had come and know that they loved me too.
• The last I will write about to most wouldn't be seen as precious, but to me it was a spiritual experience. We all knew that the time had come to say our last goodbyes. Mother was gasping for air. I had been sitting with her all morning when Dad came in. He was only there a short time when Mother took her last breathe. I calmly looked at Dad and told him she was gone. Then I walked out of the room to find a doctor. To this day I don't know what Dad did while I was gone, but neither of us shed a tear. Those came later. But to spend that time with my Father and Mother after her spirit left her body were very precious moments. What happened during that time is in my memory bank for only me to remember this day. Yes, I love her this much and clear into eternity.